Six children and three different parties
We have six children between us, but I only got to raise three. Let me explain how our blended family came together and how we celebrated each of their 40th birthdays. I hope it gives you many ideas for creating lasting memories and joy with your family.
First, my oldest son, whom I gave up for adoption in 1968, so I didn’t get to raise him. God reunited us in 2007, and his wife gave me the idea of providing the party months before the big day, as she had arranged his surprise party months before his birthday.
You see, in 1970, I married a man from a different state, and we relocated several times. After fourteen years and two sons, my marriage came to an end. That’s when I decided to move back to North Georgia, where I grew up. It was good to escape the questions and strange looks of people.
Along came a man with three daughters. He was so much fun, witty, and charming, and always a gentleman—the polar opposite of my ex-husband. His first two daughters were from his first marriage, and his ex-wife raised those two.
I see the youngest daughter as a gift from God. She was from his second marriage, and her mother gave him custody. She turned three years old a few weeks after our wedding. I had always wanted a girl, but it wasn’t to be until God put us together. I could not love her more if she were my flesh and blood.
In 1994, with our four older children grown, we moved to a farmhouse in the country. We created a family “hall of fame” by framing the kids’ awards and hanging them in the wide hallway.
The first party
Of course, as the children became adults, there were weddings and grandchildren to celebrate. Then it became time to start planning the first surprise party for the first of the three I raised.
Why paint the tree blue?
Years ago, I had read about a man in New York who was throwing an outdoor party and had a dead cherry tree. He could not have it removed before the party, so he painted it.
So, I asked my husband to paint a dead apple tree blue, so we could hang streamers from it, and invite people to help us celebrate our son’s 40th!
This son chose to join the Navy and served on the U.S.S. Missouri, a battleship. During Desert Storm, he saw plenty of action for this Mama’s heart. When his Navy days ended, he came home for the summer and worked in construction with his brother. He married, joined the Coast Guard, and was stationed in Miami. Then, after his first child was born, he decided to change careers. He is an entrepreneur with a very successful small business. He and his lovely wife have two wonderful children.
His birthday is in December, but we opted for a late summer day, and it was so much fun. He was so surprised, and it was a perfect day to celebrate him.
This son’s party mainly consisted of our extended family. I invited his father and his girlfriend. My son had not spoken to him or seen him in several years. And my ex had not seen his grandchildren in all that time. It was good to reunite them.
The menu: Homemade southern fried chicken with all the good things this son loves—homemade biscuits, mashed potatoes, crowder peas, and brown gravy. Yes, it wasn’t easy cooking fried chicken for the crowd, but it was so worth it.
Treasures for each
At their party, each is presented with a treasure chest. And it’s an exciting few minutes as they explore everything I’ve saved from their childhood. Those drawings, finger paintings that used to be refrigerator art. Some chests had pots for plants or cans made into pencil holders. Of course, there are report cards, along with the cards and pictures given to me, and even some unique T-shirts. The boys had glow-in-the-dark peanut “Carter for President” T-shirts. This son also had a 29N Club T-shirt for crossing the equator while in the Navy; all of this I had saved. Their baby books are included as well.
The blue tree becames a home
Two weeks after the party, the blue tree fell. I had it moved and erected among my herb beds for the loofah sponge gourds to climb and grow. It was soon home to a pair of chickadees that found a hole in the tree an ideal place to live. We enjoyed the color it brought to the garden for several years.
The 2nd party
The second surprise party was much larger, with five generations coming together to celebrate. We had nine overnight guests from my ex’s family. It was a celebration for the record books.
The menu: We served low-country boil. Some of our guests had never enjoyed it. I received such a lovely email from my son thanking me that I count it among my treasures.
Among the treasures in his chest was a letter from Ford Motor Company, acknowledging his artistic ability when he was about ten. His baby book was interesting, according to his sister-in-law. As she read it while expecting her second child, she wanted a child as exciting as he was. As they say, be careful what you ask for. Fast forward a few years, and I received a photo of an electrical plug with a scorched area surrounding it. She had an exciting child, and I am happy to say he is now an adult.
He makes dreams come true
We celebrated him for his exceptional ability to help us all with any construction projects, as he is a master carpenter, a great artist, and a dreamer. Indeed, he has made many of our dreams come true. He has helped us remodel our farmhouse, reclaiming it from the days of a sunken heart-shaped tub. Remodeling the front porch. Yes, our farmhouse, with its history, had been renewed in all the wrong ways. Then he framed his brother’s new house. He built a gazebo for one of his step-sisters’ weddings. He has touched every building on the property and helped keep us in this 100+-year-old farmhouse. In the photo above, you can see the structure he built to enclose the hot tub on three sides. I used it for many years for my fibromyalgia. We now use it as an outdoor gathering place, which we call the dawg shack.
The 3rd party
We gave the youngest child her surprise party on her actual 40th. We were awaiting the birth of her second grandchild; it will be our fifth great-grandson. I was a little afraid she might be called to the hospital before we could have her party and get it in the books. We filled the deck with tables and chairs, but with a heat index of at least 100 degrees, no one wanted to sit there. There was enough shade with our large pecan trees, and we had many outdoor fans going. Everyone seems to have enjoyed themselves despite the heat. She says she had no idea a party was afoot.
We celebrate her heart for caring for others and for trying to improve the lives she touches. Always kind and generous, she makes friends wherever she goes. As a mother of four, she became an unexpected grandmother at thirty-six, a role she loves. You can count on her to show up and help out no matter what needs to be done.
She was awarded her treasure chest. Her chest was even more special because her biological mother, now deceased, had saved some items. We had the bow from the mailbox when she came home from the hospital. There were many drawings and cards, her baby spoon, a hairbrush, a sippy cup, and colorful decorations she had made. She also received her grandmother’s old typewriter, which she had played with as a child. She remarked, as a little girl, that she always drew pictures in church on whatever paper she could find.
Of course, there was Mexican food. Her favorite, and after all, a piñata that provided quite a bit of fun as her sons tied it up in a pecan tree, and her husband manipulated the rope, as she tried to hit it. When it was opened, it was full of tiny bottles of her favorite beverage, courtesy of her friends.
Sharing brings joy
These parties have given me some of the sweetest memories I carry with me. The real joy isn’t just in the day itself, but in the stories that keep being told and the treasures that continue to be opened long after the last guest leaves. If there’s someone in your family who could use a little extra love and surprise, maybe this is your nudge. Think about what small (or big) thing you could do to make them feel celebrated. The memories you create today can become the joy they hold onto for years to come.
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