How Forgiving My Abuser Set Me Free: A Christian Story of Hope and Healing

An excerpt from Chapter 1 of my upcoming book

For years, I carried a burning anger that colored everything in my life. I told anyone who would listen about the abuse I suffered from my mother as a child. People urged me to write a book about it—and I planned to. But it wasn’t going to be healing or hopeful. It was going to be raw, vile, and ugly, just like the pain I felt inside. Some friends even distanced themselves because the bitterness I spewed was too much.

I was stuck—replaying the hurt, letting it define me. An angry, bitter unperdictable woman.

Satan was using that bitterness to seal my freedom.

Does he have you stuck in bitterness?

Through God’s grace, I discovered the miracle of forgiveness. It wasn’t the world’s way of “just get over it.” It was God’s way—and it unlocked the peace, joy, and abundant life He always intended for me.

Have you ever felt trapped by old wounds? Wondering if freedom is really possible? Let me share how forgiveness became the key that set me free… and how it can do the same for you.

Why Forgiveness Is God’s Key to Freedom

Forgiveness isn’t optional in God’s economy—it’s essential. Jesus taught it clearly:

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25, NKJV)

If we’ve received God’s forgiveness through Jesus’ sacrifice, we’re called to extend it to others. It’s the starting point for healing shame, guilt, and pain.

Science backs this up, too. Studies show that forgiving others rewires our brains for resilience and better connections. Top institutions like the Mayo Clinic and Johns Hopkins report real health benefits, including:

• Healthier relationships
• Improved mental health
• Less anxiety, stress, and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Stronger immune system
• Better heart health
• Higher self-esteem

Forgiving isn’t letting someone off the hook—it’s setting yourself free.

The Thief Who Wants to Keep You Stuck

Jesus warned us in John 10:10:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (NKJV)

That thief? Satan. He loves bitterness because it keeps us chained to the past, robbing our joy, peace, and purpose.

The Bible calls it a “root of bitterness” that springs up and defiles many (Hebrews 12:15). Left unchecked, it spreads poison.

Former Senator Alan Simpson captured this perfectly at President George H.W. Bush’s funeral, sharing a lesson both men learned from their mothers: “Hatred corrodes the container it’s carried in.”

I lived with that corrosion for years. Hate and unforgiveness were eating me alive from the inside.

But Jesus offers the opposite: abundant life for your body, mind, emotions, and relationships. Healing might come gradually—one layer at a time—but it starts with releasing others to God.

My Turning Point: Releasing “Blameless Sin”

My abuse started before I was four—sexual abuse that left deep shame. I carried guilt I didn’t even understand.

One day, the Lord spoke clearly: “It was a blameless sin.”

Through the Holy Spirit, He explained: I was too young to comprehend or consent, but I’d believed the abuser’s lies and kept the secret. That required repentance—and God’s forgiveness brought fresh healing.

We all sin and fall short (Romans 3:23), but God’s righteousness comes through faith in Jesus. He redeems everything.

Paul urges us:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32)

You don’t have to confront your abuser to forgive. You can release them in prayer to God. And yes—forgive yourself too.

Hearing God’s voice grows with time: study His Word, pray, worship, and practice stillness (Psalm 46:10). He calls you by name, never by your shame.

Your Quick-Start Guide to Releasing Resentment and Extending Forgiveness

Ready to move forward? Here’s how I began:

1. Study these Scriptures for clarity
   • Matthew 6:12-15
   • Romans 12:17-18
   • Ephesians 4:25-32 (try the NLT)
   • 1 John 1:9
   • Mark 11:25
   • 1 Peter 3:8-12
   • Matthew 5:44
2. Repent and receive God’s forgiveness. Ask Him to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness. Repent—even for complaining about others. We all need this in our fallen world.
3. Make your forgiveness list. Write down everyone who hurt you (names may surface multiple times as God heals layers). Pray over each one, releasing them to Him.

A Prayer to Get Started

Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. Please forgive me for my words, actions, and behaviors that haven’t aligned with Your love and plans for me. I repent of all sin, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness.

By faith, I receive Your forgiveness and righteousness through Jesus’ blood.

Father, I forgive and release [insert names]—everyone who has hurt me.

I choose to walk in love and Your peace that surpasses understanding.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Forgiveness didn’t erase my past, but it unlocked my future. Today, I live with God’s peace and joy—proof that His promises are real.

This chapter is just the beginning. My full story of healing and redemption is coming in my book this year. If this spoke to you, share in the comments (anonymously is fine): Who is one person you’re ready to release today? Sign up for updates on the book—I’d love to journey with you.