Should we begin at the age of three or four, when their curiosity is at its peak? 

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Have you spent time in the company of a three-, four, or five-year-old child who didn’t ask, Why? or How? or What? Over and over again until you wanted to pull your hair out? Teaching the art of asking great questions and the power of pausing can start subtly and simply.

Parenting is not easy, but it is our most important role.

It’s where we are to help our children become their best and prepare them for their life journey. Encouraging their curiosity and imagination improves their odds of success.  

However, as adults, we sometimes need time to answer their questions. Today, handing them a phone and showing them how to use Google or distract them with phone games is easy. Indeed, that would be wrong, and you should in no way squash curiosity. But, we see this more and more: the child’s attention is redirected to a screen, and the thing about which they are curious vanishes.

For example, I have been curious about using AI to help me with content; this story is the result. I used ChatGPT to help me brainstorm and rework this article. Like many writers, I use Grammarly for spell check and to catch some of my sentence structure problems, along with the Hemingway editor. But this is only the second time I have used ChatGPT. I hope you’ll be pleased.

As parents try to direct their children’s attention to something else when they ask what, why, and how. I wonder where these children will go to find the answers, or will they stop being curious?

If you are too busy to answer right then, tell the child why you need time to respond and when you should be able to. “As soon as I get the baby down for his nap, I’ll be able to answer some of your questions.” Or if you don’t know the answer, you can say, “I don’t know, but we can research together and see what we can find.”

How do we encourage their curiosity?

We ask them what they think and help them get unstuck if they have trouble finding the correct words. We show them research, and maybe if they are the right age, we show them how to do research.

It’s essential to realize it is not always easy to get a child to find the right words to ask at this curious age might be challenging. As my next story illustrates, sometimes it is a matter of getting them to speak slowly and carefully.

We had twins in our family, and we still laugh about the day before Valentine’s Day when they were about five. I was designated to help these two get their valentines ready for kindergarten. Both were in speech therapy, as they had developed their own language. First, my brother insisted he wanted to send “fatty one.” We named every heavy person on the bus, his class, and the neighborhood. No luck, and he got red in the face and expressively repeated, “I want to send fatty one!” Finally, we figured it out with the help of our sister, the other twin. For some reason, he wanted to send thirty-one Valentine’s, so I am sure some of his classmates got more than one from him that year. 

Another challenge is teaching young minds listening skills.

Equally important is teaching listening intently, a skill that will serve them in every area of their lives. Try reading to them while they have their eyes closed. Ask them to imagine the scenes and characters and tell you about them. This simple exercise should improve their listening skills. Of course, modeling good listening will help the most. So, be sure to pay attention and listen when others speak to you. Parents who are curious and teachable are the best role models.

The wisdom of scripture should guide the art of great questions.

As an illustration, the following few Bible stories show some great questions and some pauses. There are so many in the Bible, and the site where I located these images has many to choose from. The photos and stories are royalty-free and provided in many different languages.

Indeed, these stories show how biblical figures exemplify the power of asking questions. Some even pause to gain wisdom, understanding, and faith before responding. These stories will continue to guide children on their journeys of discovery.

A colorful sketch of Moses with his staff in hand facing the burning bush.
Sweet Publishing/ FreeBibleimages.org


Moses and the Burning Bush

    What did Moses do when he encountered a burning bush in the wilderness? Of Course, he paused to investigate the strange sight, as he was curious. As he approached, a voice from the bush spoke to him, revealing itself as God. Moses questioned God’s plan to free the Israelites from Egypt. Moreover, Moses wondered how he, a mere shepherd, could lead his people. Despite his doubts, Moses paused to listen to God’s guidance. Moses became a great leader who led his people to freedom. His willingness to ask questions and seek divine guidance inspires us. As we face uncertainty in our journeys. (For more, see Exodus 3:1–15)

    Nicodemus meets with Jesus at nigh to learn more about His teaching. Both men wear colorful clothing of that time period.
    Sweet Publishing/ FreeBibleimages.org

    Nicodemus’ Nighttime Inquiry 

    Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Jewish ruling council. He approached Jesus in darkness because he didn’t want the other Pharisees to know he had questions. He was curious about Jesus and His teachings. Nicodemus asked Jesus about the concept of being “born again.” Despite his position and knowledge, Nicodemus sought wisdom from Jesus. He took time to engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Jesus. And Jesus’ response about spiritual rebirth left Nicodemus with much to think about. He had a willingness to ask questions. And he took the time to listen in pursuit of spiritual understanding. He is a valuable example for seekers of truth. (For more, see John 3:1–21)

    Thomas is on his knees after touching Jesus’ resurrected body to take all his doubts away as the other disciples look on.
    Sweet Publishing/FreeBibleimages.org

    Thomas’ Doubt and Faith

    After Jesus’ crucifixion, the disciples were in despair. When his fellow disciples told Thomas, they had seen Jesus resurrected. Thomas is known as “Doubting Thomas” because he expressed skepticism. He wanted evidence and asked to see Jesus’ wounds. Jesus, understanding Thomas’ need for proof. Appeared to him and invited him to touch His wounds. Upon seeing and touching Jesus, Thomas exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!” Thomas’s doubt, his questions, and his willingness to wait. When he felt the evidence, it led to a profound moment of faith. Asking questions and seeking proof leads to deeper faith and understanding. (For more, see John 20:19–31)

    Understanding and spiritual growth as children grow

    Biblical principles align with the importance of teaching how to ask great questions.

    1. Developing Discernment and Wisdom:

    And if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. (Proverbs 2:3–5 NIV)

    • Teaching great questions nurtures a spirit of inquiry.
    • Also, it helps young people to seek divine wisdom in their quest for knowledge.

    2. Enhancing Faith and Understanding:

    Jesus instructs us in Matthew to;

    “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7 NIV)

    Teaching how to form great questions;

    • invites children to seek a deeper understanding of their faith,
    • Bringing them into a closer relationship with God.

    3. Encouraging Humility and Reverence:

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3: 5–6 NIV)

    In their teen years, great questions will instill humility;

    • by reminding them they do not have all the answers.
    • And that pursuing knowledge is a lifelong journey guided by the Holy Spirit.

    The Power of the Pause

    How do we teach the pause’s profound wisdom to our children?

    The “power of the pause” resonates with these Christian principles:

    • Reflection,
    • And of prayer,
    • And discernment.

    Let’s see how this aligns with biblical teachings.

    1. Seeking God’s Guidance: The Psalmist implores us to;

    “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10 NIV)

    The power of the pause:

    • Encourages children to reflect.
    • And to seek God’s guidance in their decisions.

    2. Avoiding Hasty Judgments: As Proverbs 19:2 reminds us,

    It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way. (Proverbs 19:2 NIV)

    Pausing before responding:

    • Allows us to avoid quick judgments.
    • And seek God’s wisdom in our interactions.

    3. Exercising Patience and Love:

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:4–5 NIV)

    And the power of the pause:

    • Helps us all to respond in a manner that reflects Christ’s love and patience.

    By teaching these principles to our children:

    1. We empower them to navigate their spiritual journey with faith,
    2. With humility,
    3. And a deeper connection to God’s divine wisdom.

    Biblical teachings encourage us to seek wisdom:

    1. To trust God’s understanding,
    2. And respond to life’s challenges with patience and love.

    Start teaching children when they are young and curious. You will add more joy to both of your lives while improving their odds of success.

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